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[19 Sep 2005|08:02pm]
So, life is... different. Things aren't at all the same.

I hate school.
I hate not seeing my boyfriend.
I hate soccer practice, especially when I am over tired.
I hate feeling sick.
I hate lying, and skipping school.
I hate homework.
I hate drama.
I hate all of them bitches at school with their god damned brother.
I hate my family, especially my brother.
I hate being home.

I love laughing so hard that I cry cuz I did something
stupid, like play soccer with flip-flops as shin guards.

I love seeing my boyfriend truely happy.
I love seeing him mosh- even though i was like sooo scared.
I love getting hit on by the lead singer of disturbed and
not even noticing it.
I love being on the front of the stage with the Drop Kick Murphys
and being able to really let myself go for the first time in forever.
I love my friends.
I love all of the girls who deal with my tendancy to not leave my
boyfriends side when I am with him.
I love playing soccer games.
I love being away from home for days on end.
I love waking up in his arms.
I love having so much fun in my day that my face actually hurts
from smiling.


So, I have the feeling that sometimes I am very up tight and can
never truely let my self go. I did with those drunken irish bastards the other

I am in love with the weekend.. And I hate all of the hours that
I have to spend without him. It drives me crazy how all I want to
do is to have my ten minutes with him a day and it just can't happen.

I miss having him at school with me.

I miss Meghan Elwell.

And, I miss having free time.

Eh. I better try to get some more sleep.

What Your Sleeping Position Says

You are calm and rational.
You are also giving and kind - a great friend.
You are easy going and trusting.
However, you are too sensible to fall for mind games.
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Eh. [05 Sep 2005|08:57pm]
Yeah, the unfairness of my family, stubborness of my boyfriend and the sadness of my life is really getting to me. I basically got Dustin into so much trouble since we began going out, like his dad forewarned, and I just told him not to deal with me anymore. It hurts to see him like this, so much. I am so in love with him, and I can not get over how i still feel the same way that I did since our first kiss. I feel bad though, cuz I am not really improving his life. Eh, its alot to think about.

Okay, so my brother is in the basement alone with his girlfriend right now. I am basically really annoyed right now because 1. I am never alone with my boyfriend in my house, ever. 2. I can never just go downstairs with him to just hang out. 3. I always have my brothers up my ass. and 4. I have to be in the kitchen or the living room at all times or my parents are freaking out. oh, and 5. I could never have anyone over on school nights. This is B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T. Everything that I could never do he just seems to snake by with. Its annoying.

So, soccer. Its so stupid. The only reason that I am playing is cuz Loren so badly wanted to play with me, but now she's seeing that it is just one giant joke. Soccer was always stupid and random and I always hated it. Er. I don't get why I have to hate soccer so much. Maybe its just miss Mac and her crack pills? Er. Idk.

School is so...weird. There is so many people and teachers that I am really not used to seeing in my classes. its cool though, it makes me happy to be able to meet new people. And as much as I miss him and think of him all day long, I know that he loves me and that he's thinking of me too. Its good that he's not there cuz now I am not distracted at all. Which makes me really happy. And this way, when I do get to go on my way to go and see him, my heart gets filled with anticipation and i get so excited. Its like my heart is fluttering. Its such a cool? feeling. I kinda spent the whole weekend with him, but it doesnt feel like it. It wasn't jst Dustin and Me time. Hopefully, we will have a good time at our date on next sunday to the Blues festival at the mount.

Time for some laundry. Goodnight.
9 comments|post comment

[12 Aug 2005|02:23pm]
Ah. School is starting soon. I don't want this summer to EVER end. This has truely been the best summer of my life.
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[26 Mar 2005|06:27am]
I was boredCollapse )
3 comments|post comment

[22 Feb 2005|05:27pm]
You know you're a 90's kid if...
bold all the ones that apply to you

1. You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCH!"
2. You watched the Pound Puppies
3. You can sing the rap to "The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air"

4. You wore biker shorts under your skirts and felt stylish
5. You yearned to be part of the Baby-Sitters club
6. You owned those little Strawberry Shortcake pals scented dolls
7. You know that "WOAH" comes from Joey from "Blossom" and that "How Rude!" comes from Stephanie from "Full House"

8. If you ever watched "Fraggle Rock"
9. If you had plastic streamers on your handle bars
10. You can sing the entire theme song to "Duck Tales"
11. You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons
12. You wore a ponytail on the side of your head
13. You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school
14. You played the game "MASH" (mansion, apartment, shack, house)
15. You wore a Jordache Jean Jacket and were proud of it.

16. L.A Gear.... light up shoes!!
17. You wanted to change your name to "JEM" in kindergarten
18. You remember reading "Tales of the Fourth Grade Nothing" and all the Ramona books
19. You know the profound meaning of "Wax on, wax off"

20. You wanted to be a Goonie
21. You ever wore flourescent clothing

22. You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off
23. You have pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.
24. You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school
25. You remember the craze then the banning of slap bracelets

26. You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence...Not.
27. You remember hyper-color t-shirts
28. Barbie and the Rockers was your favorite band
29. You thought She-Ra and He-Ra should hook up
30. You thought your childhood friends would never leave because you exchanged friendship bracelets
31. You owned a pair of jelly sandals

32. After you saw "Pee-Wee's Big Adventure" you kept saying "I know you are but what am I"
33. You remember "I've fallen and I can't get up"

34. You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates
35. You ever got seriously injured on a Slip 'n' Slide disclaimer
36. You had or attended a birthday party at Mcdonalds
37. You've gone through this occasionally saying "awesome"
38. You remember Popples
39. " Don't worry, be happy"
40. You wore socks over tights

41. You wore socks scrunched down
42. " Miss Mary Mack, Mack, Mack, all dressed in black, black, black, with silver buttons, buttons, buttons, all down her back, back, back"
43. You remember boom boxes vs. cd players
44. You remember watching both "Gremlins" movies

45. You knew what it meant to say "Care Bear Stare"
46. You remember watching "Rainbow Brite" and "My Little Ponies"
47. You thought Doogie Houser was hot
48. You remember Alf, the little brown alien from Melmac
49. You remember New Kid on The Block when they were cool

50. You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By The Bell"
51. You know all the words to Bon Jovi
52. You played and or collected "Pogs"
53. You used to pretend you could transform into a Power Ranger. It's morphin' time!!
54. You had at least one GigaPet and brought it everywhere..
55. You were obsessed with your "Easy Bake Oven" and your "Lite-Brite".

8 comments|post comment

Surveys! [22 Feb 2005|04:52pm]

01. I think that late night phone calls that wake you up are the best kind.

02.  I play a sport.

03. I get annoyed when I don't get to finish telling a story.
04. I like to wear pink.
05. Sometimes I wish I could do something really well.

06. I drink a lot of water.
07. I've never taken a hit of a cigarette.
08. I like musicians.

09. I'm such a health freak.
10. I love taking pictures.
11. I have really tiny wrists.
12. I can identify some close friends by smell.
13. I'm far too nice.

14. I hate when people confuse "your" and "you're"
15. I think dorkiness is attractive.
16. I've never had a fake screen name.
17. I wish I had a pug.
18. I miss middle school.
19. I have pretty good eating habits.
20. I have a hard time making up my mind sometimes.

21. I wish my hair was naturally curled.
22. I can't live without chapstick.
23. I wish I could sing really really well.
24. I like classical music.
25. Striped pants are hot.
26. I think Schylar is a really cool name
27. I usually don't get sarcasm.
28. I wish I could look in a mirror and constantly be satisfied with myself.
29. I shift between being sleepy and awake when I'm really tired.
30. I hardly ever vacuum.

31. I hate racism and nazis.
32. I want someone to hold me right now.
33. I like watermelon flavored things.
34. I'm a snob about grammar.
35. I am a terrible liar.
36. Axe deoderant smells WONDERFUL.
37. I wish I knew how to speak in Italian.
38. I tried to kiss a member of the opposite sex when I was in kindergarten.
40. I have no idea what my school musical is about.
41. I appreciate honesty.
42. I need a manicure.

43. I love Dr. Pepper.
44. I twirl my hair.
45. I love kissing.

46. I don't own a cellphone.
47. I want to learn to play the harp.
48. I'm not old enough to vote.
49. I live in the past far too much.
50. I need to remember to be a teenager sometimes.
51. I want to see most of the world.
52. Sometimes I wonder what's going on in other parts of the world.
53. I hate being lied to.
54. I believe in a thing called love.

55. I go shopping usually once a week.
56. Today is Wednesday.
57. I've read more than a 100 books.
58. I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme.
59. I like feet.
60. Jesse McCartney is hot.
61. I want the world to see me.
63. I hate seeing kids that think they're different because they like Slipknot and shop at Hot Topic. (*cough* my brother)

64. I realized that there was no 1 or 2.
65. I wear pants more than I wear shorts.
66. I am tactful most of the time.
67. I'm afraid of spiders.
68. I get too attached to some people.
69. I'm usually on time.
70. I forgive but I don't forget.
71. I think way too much for my own good.

72. My current relationship is teaching me a lot.
73. I like salads from McDonalds.
74. I read for at least two hours every night before bed.
75. I talk to a lot of people I don't like because I hate being rude.
76. I sing in the shower.
77. Funny guys turn me on.

78. I wish I were asleep.
79. I like Reeses peanut butter cups.

80. I never have enough energy.
81. I have a friend who has an outtie bellybutton.
82. I have driven a car.
83. There is no nailpolish on my nails.
84. I realized there was no 1 or 2.
86. Goodbyes make me sad.

85. I wear brown, thin-rimmed glasses.
87. Cold Stone is so much better than Baskin Robbins
88. I love cuddling.
89. I run when I'm bored.
90. I wish I were more attractive to other people.
91. I worry too much sometimes about what people think
92. I'm a billion times better than I was in junior high school.
93. Compliments make me happy.
94. I like long car rides with certain people.
95. I hate when people incorrectly label me.
96. I wonder a lot who I'm going to end up marrying
97. I listen to the things no one else cares about.
98. I can't draw from imaginiation.
99. TyPiNg LIeK diS anNoyes mEeeh.
100. This took too long

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[20 Feb 2005|11:08pm]



LJ friendsCollage.

Brought to you by pratibha75 and teemus.
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Photobucket [26 Jan 2005|04:18pm]
This is a test post from Photobucket.com
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[26 Jan 2005|12:05pm]

01. i have a cell phone.
02. i have friends who use me.

03. i am an only child.
04. i am a shopoholic.
05. i love dangly earrings.

06. i have smoked a cigarette before.

07. i love cold weather.
08. i'm obsessed with the computer.

09. i have shot a gun before.
10. i can't live without music.
11. i have no tolerance of ignorant people.
12. i have ridden on a motorcycle before.
13. i'll be in this town forever.

14. i've been to 5 other countries.
15. i get annoyed easily.
16. i eventually want kids.
17. i have neat handwriting.
18. i have more than a few horrible memories.
19. i am addicted to chocolate.
20. i am an atheist.
21. my parents are strict.
22. i love airplane rides.
23. i love taking pictures.
24. i hate girls who are fake.
25. i can be mean when i want to.
26. my parents care about my grades.
27. one of my best friends is a guy.
28. i have way too many purses.
29. i'm obsessed with lip gloss.
30. i am easy to talk to.

31. i would never eat raw fish.
32. i cry easily.
33. i hate when people are late.

34. i procrastinate.
35. i love winter.
36. i have too many clothes for my closet/dresser.
37. i love to sleep.
38. i wish i were smarter.
39. i'm afraid of flying.
40. i hate drama.
41. i bite my nails.

42. i have been on an 8 hour drive.
43. i never fight with my parents.
44. i love the beach.
45. i have never had the chicken pox.

46. i have gone out in public in my pajamas.
47. i can't control my emotions.

48. i have A best friend.
49. i have moved more than once.

50. i truly love my friends.
51. i have braces.
52. i love to write.
53. i have never broken a bone.
54. i agree with racist people.
55. i hate my computer.
56. i love guys that play the drums. (guiters are better)
57. i state the obvious.

58. i'm a happy person. Sometimes
59. i love to dance.

60. i love to sing.
61. i love cleaning my room.(sometimes)
62. i tend to get jealous very easily.
63. i love cute underwear.
64. i have gotten high before.
65. i love night better than day.

66. i have been on the phone for over 5 hours at a time.
67. i don't like to study for tests.
68. i love god.
69. i am too forgiving.
70. i have horrible sense in direction.
71. i miss elementary school.
72. i have had a boyfriend before.
73. i'm a daddy's girl.
74. i love kisses on my forehead.

75. i love the color pink.

76. i love to sew.
77. my eye color changes.

78. i should see a therapist.
79. i played on a guys sports team.

80. i become stressed easily.
81. i hate liars.
82. i like comfy sweatpants.
83. i can play the piano.
84. i love the smell of rain.
85. i love my family.
86. i hate needles.

87. i am a perfectionist
88. i always wanted to learn to play the drums.
89. i hate the feeling of failure.

90. i have friends in other countries.
91. i know how to cook.
92. i can be quite selfish.

93. at times, i still act like a little kid.
94. i have food allergies.
95. i love little kids.
96. i love to read.
97. i wish i were more motivated for school.

98. i love getting stuff in the mail.

99. i have problems with letting go of old feelings.

100. i hate being alone.
101. i love summer.
102. i love the weekends.
103. i love black eyeliner.

104. i think im pretty.
105. i type with one hand.
106. i live in a one story house.

107. i wear make-up.
108. i have never rode on an underground subway.
109. i can't swim.
110. i have bad memory.
111. i go to church. 
112. i sing in the shower.
113. i have never been camping.
114. i hate cheerleaders.
115. i usually get what i want.
116. i have been on stage before.
117. i love roller coasters.
118. no one knows the full story of my life
119. i am close with my parents.
120. i don't have a curfew.

I have a boyfriend/girlfriend.
I wear make up all the time.
My hair is its natural color.

I want a golf cart.  
I like to play soccer.
I like to build igloos in the snow.
I like Sugarcult.
I want a convertible.
I like to write poems.
I eat popcorn at the movies.
I go to the movies at least 2 times a week.
I believe in angels.
I have a dog.
I go camping.
I dress up at Halloween.

I like the color gray.
I go to a private school.
I am a cheerleader.
I sleep to 12 in the summer and on weekends.
I have seen the movie "8 Crazy Nights" at least 3 times.
I believe in love at first sight.    
I ponder life way too much.

Sometimes I think everyone hates me.
I need to be showed I'm loved.
I wish I was better.
I hate discrimination.
I hate guys who are only out for one thing.

I have a cute car.
I love glitter
I sometimes wish I was more social.

I love to have fun.
I get amused easily.
I'm a lazy ass. I really am.
I'm usually more outgoing when I'm around friends.
I love to be me.
I like wearing hoodies. 
I can make my tongue look like a seashell
Spiders scare me like crazy
I wish I went to the beach more often
I am me.

I rather wear skirts than pants.
I'm very neat, but my desk is messy.
I hate math.

I love old movies
I'm short.
I love the rain.

I love to watch people laugh. 
I am better at keeping secrets than are most of my friends.
I love my parents, but never know how to show them.
I have no idea where I'd like to go to college.
I prefer music over books.  
I think everyone is a psycho.
Stars are awesome.
I dont wear contacts.
I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.

I bet I won't move very far away.
I've broken a bone.
I have secrets.
I hate snow.
I laugh at things people don't think are funny.
I paint my toe nails
I get annoyed when i don't get to finish telling a story

 I've never taken a hit of a cigarette
I love taking pictures

I have really tiny wrists
I'm far too nice 
I think dorkiness is attractive

I've never had a fake screen name
I have pretty good eating habits
I have a hard time making up my mind sometimes

I can't live without chapstick
I wish I could sing

I need a manicure
I love Dr.Pepper
I twirl my hair
*I love kissing*

I'm not old enough to vote
I live in the past far too much
I need to remember to be a teenager sometimes
I want to see most of the world

Sometimes I wonder what's going on over in London
I hate being lied to
I believe in a thing called love
I like getting compliments
I want the world to see me
I hate seeing kids/people that think they're different because they like Slipknot, etc. and shop at Hot Topic
I have a fear of wearing too much perfume
I wear pants more than I wear shorts
I get too attached to some people
I'm usually on time

I forgive but I don't forget
I think way too damn much for my own good

My current relationship is teaching me a lot



3 comments|post comment

Ah, I did this like a loser. [24 Jan 2005|09:49pm]
1. Know how to make you smile when youre down.

2. Try to secretly smell your hair, but you always notice.

3. Grab you around your waist and pull you to them.

4. Kiss you like they'll never have the chance again.

5. Come up behind you and put their arms around you.

6. Play with your hair.

7. Their hands always find yours.

8. Be cute when they really want something.

9. Stop kissing you, just to tell you how beautiful you are.

10. Do stupid things with you even if they look like a dork.

11. Never run out of kisses.

12. Make you laugh so hard u can barely breathe.

13. Realize they're being funny when they needs to be serious.

14. Be patient when you take forever to get ready.

15. React so cutely when you hit them and it actually hurts.

16. Smile a lot.

17. Tease you alot, then appologize when ur feelings actually get hurt.

18. Appreciate you.

19. Help others out.

20. Drive 5 hours just to see you for 1.

21. Always give you a kiss on the cheek when you depart from each others company, even when their friends are watching.

22. Sing to you even if they can't.

23. Have a super sense of humor.

24. Stare at you.

25. Call you for NO reason.


























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[21 Jan 2005|08:28am]
You scored as Indie. Indie.




Indie Rock


Emo & More


Classic Rock.






Punk and Pop Punk.






Hip Hop and Rap






Music Recommendation
created with QuizFarm.com

You Are 23 Years Old


20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

You Have A Type A- Personality


You are one of the most balanced people around
Motivated and focused, you are good at getting what you want
You rule at success, but success doesn't rule you.

When it's playtime, you really know how to kick back
Whether it's hanging out with friends or doing something you love!
You live life to the fullest - encorporating the best of both worlds

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[13 Jan 2005|10:24pm]
1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. How have I affected you?
5. What do you think of me?
6. What's the fondest memory you have of me?
7. How long do you think we will be friends?
8. Do you love me?
9. Do you have a crush on me?
10. Would you kiss me?
11. Would you hug me?
12. Physically, what stands out?
13. Emotionally, what stands out?
14. Do you wish I was cooler?
15. On a scale of 1-10, how hot am I?
16. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
17. Am I loveable?
18. How long have you known me?
19. Describe me in one word.
20. What was your first impression?
21. Do you still think that way about me now?
22. What do you think my weakness is?
23. Do you think I'll get married?
24. What makes me happy?
25. What makes me sad?
26. What reminds you of me?
27. If you could give me anything what would it be?
29. How well do you know me?
29. When's the last time you saw me?
30. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
31. Do you think I could kill someone?
32. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?
33. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?
34. Are you going to put this on your LiveJournal and see what I say about you?
1 comment|post comment

[08 Jan 2005|01:18pm]
F i r s t s
First best friend: Meggie
First car: n/a
First kiss on the lips: bill eddy?
First real kiss: ..i dont know!
First break-up: real big one? steve mulloy
First screen name: BTQueen44
First self purchased album: Hanson?
First funeral: Great Grandma Choo-Choo
First pets: Sydney..we just put her to sleep :-(
First true love: Tyler. i thought.
First enemy: haha.
First big trip: Puerto Rico
First music you remember hearing in your house: Jackson 5

l a s t s
last car ride: With dustin to fucking 10 minutes across town.
Last kiss: allan?
Last good cry: oh man, 4 hours ago.
Last movie seen:The end of silence of the lambs
Last beverage drank: setlzer
Last food consumed: pasta
Last crush:mm. idk
Last phone call: Allan
Last time showered: This morning
Last shoes worn:white nikes
Last item bought: ..prolly food.
Last time scolded: today

r e l a t i o n s h i p s
01. who are your very best friends?meg, britt
02. do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? no

f a s h i o n | s t u f f
01. where is your favorite place to shop?: ae
02. any tattoos or piercing?: ears and nose

s p e c i f i c s
01. do you do drugs?: yeah when i have a headache
02. what kind of shampoo do you use?: finesse
03. what are you most scared of?: losing the people I care about the most
04. what are you listening to right now?: telly vision
05. where do you want to get married?: beach
06. how many buddies are online right now?: 150/199
07. what would you change about yourself?: nothing.

f a v o r i t e s
01. color: pink
02. food: Pizza, Ice Cream, Doritoes, Mexican
03. boys' names: ...
04. girls' names: ..
05. subjects in school: Ceramics
06. animals: Monkeys
07. sports: to watch: Basketball and Football
08. perfume: Very Sexy
09. cologne: Nautica

h a v e | y o u | e v e r
01. taken a bath with someone? no
02. smoked? Yup
03. made yourself throw up?: no
04. skinny dipped?: yep
05: been in love?: yep
06. made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: haha yeah I still do.
07. pictured a crush naked?: not that i can think of
08. actually seen a crush naked? yep
09. cried when someone died?: yes
10. lied?: who hasnt?
12. fallen for your best friend?: yes
13. been rejected?: yeah all the fuckin time
14. rejected someone?: yeah
15. used someone?: I dont think i would on purpose
16. done something you regret?: yeah

c u r r e n t
clothes: nike sweatshirt, basketball tee and sweatpants!
music: telly vision
make-up: eyeliner
annoyance: hm, theres a few.
smell: food
favorite artist: dont have one.
desktop picture: ryan playing football

l a s t | p e r s o n
hugged: dustin
you imed: jon

a r e | y o u
open minded: sometimes
arrogant: nope. people say that i can be.
interesting: sometimes..
moody: yep
hardworking: sometimes
healthy: not usually.
attractive: I am told that sometimes. But I find it really hard to believe.
bored: yep
responsible: yeah
obsessed: not really.
angry: yes
sad: nope
disappointed: yes. I am home with nothing to do.
hyper: not usually.
trusting: yep.
talkative: yes!
legal: nope.

w h o | d o | y o u | w a n n a
kill: i have a list of them...j/k!
slap: a few.
look like: i'm happy with me
talk to online: um, no one.

w h i c h | i s | b e t t e r
coke or pepsi: ew. diet coke.
flowers or candy: roses.
tall or short: tall
thick or thin: on the thicker side.
Long or short: long...

r a n d o m
in the morning i am: a mess.
all i need is: friends
what do you notice on a person first: eyes/smile
last person you danced with: um..idk!
worst question to ask: why?
who makes you laugh the most: allan, dustin, britt shelb meg..
who makes you smile: dustin
who gives you a funny feeling when you see them: just that one boy..
who do you have a crush on: well theres this one great guy...

d o | y o u | e v e r
sit on the internet all night waiting for that someone to IM you: nope
wait to see if i don't IM someone first if they will IM me: yeah
wish you were a member of the opposite sex: maybe once or twice
Wish you were younger: not really

n u m b e r
of times i have had my heart broken: a couple, but i got over it
of hearts i have broken: a few =/
of guys i've kissed: no clue.
of girls i've kissed: none
of continents i have lived on: one
of tight friends: I have the few true, and that pretty much all I need
of cds i own: not a lot, I usually just download songs...
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[08 Dec 2004|08:06pm]

Can someone tell me why he is so effin CUTE?
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[04 Oct 2004|07:11pm]
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